It's Time.

     It's time to put away childish ideals and fantasies, time to stop trying to force reality to conform to imagination, time to end my vain attempts to turn fiction into fact. I am who I am, and I guess I'm just not good enough for you or anyone else. I'm tired of this repetitive cycle of hopes which have slowly, cautiously risen -- only to fall and shatter in an instant. Perhaps I should accept my lot in life: some of us weren't meant to walk through this life surrounded by friends or accompanied by a soulmate -- some of us were meant to walk quietly and in solitude. If God didn't love the unlovable as He does, well I guess I wouldn't have bothered to stick around. I suppose that "black dog" would have left me slowly bleeding out the very last of my will to live, had not Jesus Christ driven him away and cared for my internal wounds. But there are scars, and sometimes I hear that dark hound howling in the night...

Indeed.

http://memebase.com/2011/08/29/memes-rage-comics-i-done-goofed/

Panic, Pain, Apathy

I loved you first, I loved you more
But life is all redundancy;
For here he comes, just as before,
To steal your heart away from me.

-- c. j. noel

From "Sister Rosetta Goes Before Us" by Alison Krauss and Robert Plant

"I know I loved you too much
I'll go alone to get through"

Unsaid

Tell me again that you'll love me no more;
I didn't believe when you told me before.
Nightly I fall for you, daily I rise --
Awaking from dreams with the sun in my eyes.

-- c. j. noel

This Way

I don't know why I am this way:
I've always been a shy recluse.
What else is there for me to say?
I've really got no good excuse.

-- c. j. noel

July 4th, 2011

Today the anthem plays, and for now the eagle flies;
But you would see the storm, if you'd open up your eyes.
When freedom's out of style, and you fight for something new,
I'll ring the cracking bell -- 'til at last it breaks in two.

-- c.j. noel