Snowstorm

It's snowing little white lies, each one unique
And they've piled up against my door
Trapping me in this cold house
Alone

Your New Guy...Apparently

now here he comes, a-waltzing in
and speaking words you like to hear
(sincere, or maybe insincere)
that's all it took for him to win

-- c. noel

P.S.

Man's two greatest fears are those of being unloved and being forgotten; if you cannot love me, grant me this: Remember that I love you -- truly, honestly, purely.

15 December

I laid my heart bare.
I spoke; you were speechless.
All is on the line.

Crutch

I'll soldier on through all this doubt
Though when at last I've won your trust
Perhaps you'll leave me in the dust
But I'm in love and don't want out.

-- c. noel

Will You Ever See Me?

I've bet my heart on you, darling,
Though I win, though I lose;
I'll be the ring on your finger
Or the dust on your shoes.

-- c. noel

The Clouds Covered Our Star Tonight

I think maybe the truth is
Sometimes there's no rhyme
And no amount of believing
Will make a dream come true.

So why do I still love you?



-- c. noel

All In

My love I give to her without reserve,

Although I've got no reason to believe

That in this life I ever shall receive 

The love I long to know, but don't deserve!

-- c. noel

In the Fury of the Storm, a Prayer...

In times like these, when life so fragile hangs
By scarcely more than just a single thread
An inch above Destruction’s fatal fangs,
My fearful heart is weighted down with dread;
And though You’ve promised never to forsake,
And ‘neath Your wings I know I am secure,
So often still, my faith is wont to break --
So often still, I’ve doubted what is sure.
O Lord, remember I am naught but dust!
Through ev’ry trial, give me grace to stand
Unshaken, for in You I put my trust;
Uphold me with Your great and mighty hand.
Within my soul, command the storm to cease;
And keep my heart, O Lord, in perfect peace.

-- c. noel (2008-ish)

I Can't Believe I Did That.

Well who'd have known that stoic I
Would make myself a fool for you?
To all my pride I said "goodbye" --
And did what I could never do!

No Other

I cannot make you fall in love, my dear;
But I will love you with a love so true,
You'll have no other choice but to admit
"No other ever loved me as you do."

-- Yours Truly

Blue

Now even most lonesome of roses, Blue
Has found that impossible love so true!
Still nothing I say, and nothing I do
Is ever enough to satisfy you.

- c. noel

Heart Laid Bare

I'll love you through the winter frost
Though your love is cold as ice
No other love will quite suffice
I'll love you when all hope is lost

-- c. noel

Words

I speak far fewer words than he;
And when I speak, it's quietly.
I hope someday you'll wake and see
My love is shouting endlessly.

-- c. noel

"Thrive" -- Switchfoot

"I'm always close, but I'm never enough
I'm always in line, but I'm never in love
I get so down, but I wont give up
I get so down, but I wont give up."

-- Switchfoot (singing my story)

Love Worth Fighting For

I asked for love that can't be won too easily;
I asked for love I'd have to fight to call my own.
I thought I'd fight the world, the odds -- but who'd have known
That my own heart would be my greatest enemy.

-- c. noel

From "Strange and Beautiful" by Aqualung

"I've been watching your world from afar
I've been trying to be where you are
And I've been secretly falling apart
Unseen

To me, you're strange and you're beautiful
You'd be so perfect with me
But you just can't see
You turn every head but you don't see me

Sometimes the last thing you want comes in first
Sometimes the first thing you want never comes
I know that waiting is all you can do, sometimes"

Persistence.

My quiet love has boldly spoken;
I love her, and forever will!
My love -- rejected -- is not broken;
For silently I love her still.

-- c. noel

Wish

Your hopeful heart is so unsure --
You wish, oh how you wish you knew
If all my reckless words were true,
If all my quiet love is pure...

-- c. noel

Is It So Strange to Love a Mind?

Is it so strange to love a mind?
Her passing thoughts are dear to me,
So beautiful -- like poetry!
She's all I'd ever hoped to find...

-- c. noel

October 27

I should have known.

Blue

Do you now wilt
and slowly die?
My azure rose,
if so, then I
shall tell this heart
with heavy sigh
that wingless birds
will never fly;
I shall not dream,
I shall not try,
nor dare aspire
to love so high.

-- c.j. noel

"Broken From The Start"

"Choice is the only thing we're given
For one to live another dies
One road says, "Hello"
The other says, "Goodbye"
And the rose that you don't choose begin to die."

-- Jon Foreman, "Broken From The Start"

Four Paper Roses

I wonder if she even knows
The meaning of the azure rose,
My hopeless hope set in a vase --
Perhaps I'll tell her, just in case.

In reckless love I gave to her
A rose in shades of lavender,
For I believe that in her heart
She knows I've loved her from the start.

A yellow bloom tipped red like fire
I made to show my true desire
To be a friend, and so much more --
To be the man she's waiting for.

A single rose of deepest red
I placed into her hands and said,
"This rose contains my love so true;
I've always been in love with you."

-- c.j. noel

I'm a Hard Rocker in a Parallel Universe.

I'm face down on the shore
I'm drowning in the high tide
And now just as before
I'm dying on the inside

What's left for me to say
I put myself in these chains
Now turn your face away
The darkness bleeds from my veins

-- c.j. noel

False Reality

This foolish heart has traded truth
For false reality;
Now holding on to empty hope
Will be the death of me

-- c.j. noel

Pretty Much, Yeah.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AiBG6vuLrzY

 

"If I had to
I would put myself right beside you
so let me ask
would you like that?
would you like that?

and I don't mind
if you say this love is the last time
so now I'll ask
do you like that?
do you like that?

No

Something's getting in the way
something's just about to break
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane
so tell me how it should be

try to find out what makes you tick
as I lie down
sore and sick
do you like that?
do you like that?

there's a fine line between love and hate
and I don't mind
Just let me say that I like that
I like that

Something's getting in the way
something's just about to break
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane
as I burn another page
as I look the other way
I still try to find my place in the diary of Jane
so tell me how it should be

Desperate, I will crawl
waiting for so long
no love, there is no love
die for anyone
What have I become

Something's getting in the way
something's just about to break
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane
as I burn another page
as I look the other way
I still try to find my place
In the diary of Jane"

-- Breaking Benjamin, "Diary of Jane"

In the Fall

In the Fall I fall for you,
but Winter turns your love so cold;
in the Spring I rise again,
and in the Summer, I grow bold:

In the Fall...


-- c.j. noel

8 Oct

"So, guess I got old
I was like trash on the sidewalk
I guess I knew why
Often it's hard to just sweet talk

I was old news to you then
Old news, old news to you then."

-- Fleet Foxes, "Lorelai"

Later That Same Thursday

That demon Doubt well he won't win out
No, not this time around; I stand on solid ground
Oh Apathy, now let go of me
I'm walking in the Light, by faith and not by sight

 

-- c.j. noel

Another Thursday

"He's a smooth talker, and he shaves his face
And I wonder if you look at me and instead see him taking my place."
-- Robin Pecknold

9/9

Four years ago today -- almost to the minute, I suspect. I can't forget that day -- I'm sorry.

It's Time.

     It's time to put away childish ideals and fantasies, time to stop trying to force reality to conform to imagination, time to end my vain attempts to turn fiction into fact. I am who I am, and I guess I'm just not good enough for you or anyone else. I'm tired of this repetitive cycle of hopes which have slowly, cautiously risen -- only to fall and shatter in an instant. Perhaps I should accept my lot in life: some of us weren't meant to walk through this life surrounded by friends or accompanied by a soulmate -- some of us were meant to walk quietly and in solitude. If God didn't love the unlovable as He does, well I guess I wouldn't have bothered to stick around. I suppose that "black dog" would have left me slowly bleeding out the very last of my will to live, had not Jesus Christ driven him away and cared for my internal wounds. But there are scars, and sometimes I hear that dark hound howling in the night...

Indeed.

http://memebase.com/2011/08/29/memes-rage-comics-i-done-goofed/

Panic, Pain, Apathy

I loved you first, I loved you more
But life is all redundancy;
For here he comes, just as before,
To steal your heart away from me.

-- c. j. noel

From "Sister Rosetta Goes Before Us" by Alison Krauss and Robert Plant

"I know I loved you too much
I'll go alone to get through"

Unsaid

Tell me again that you'll love me no more;
I didn't believe when you told me before.
Nightly I fall for you, daily I rise --
Awaking from dreams with the sun in my eyes.

-- c. j. noel

This Way

I don't know why I am this way:
I've always been a shy recluse.
What else is there for me to say?
I've really got no good excuse.

-- c. j. noel

July 4th, 2011

Today the anthem plays, and for now the eagle flies;
But you would see the storm, if you'd open up your eyes.
When freedom's out of style, and you fight for something new,
I'll ring the cracking bell -- 'til at last it breaks in two.

-- c.j. noel

So '90s.

From "I Want It That Way" by BSB


But we are two worlds apart;
Can't reach to your heart,
When you say
'I want it that way.'

Am I your fire,
Your one desire?
Yes, I know it's too late,
But I want it that way.

Now I can see that we've fallen apart
From the way that it used to be, yeah --
No matter the distance,
I want you to know
That deep down inside of me
You are my fire.

Don't wanna hear you say
'Ain't nothin' but a heartache,
Ain't nothin' but a mistake,'
I never wanna hear you say,
'I want it that way.'

Seasons

I, Summer, Fall for you -- Winter.
Though for now you give me naught
but cold words and icy looks, I trust that
in time you will warm to me. Love will
Spring forth from your heart, as once
again, my darling Winter, you return
to me, Summer.

-- c. j. noel

Phantom Love

In cryptic dreams I recognize
A phantom love from long ago;
And whether I have dreamed of lies
Or prophesies, I do not know.

-- c.j. noel

I'm a Ghost Without Your Love

The third of June, do you remember?
I called you mine 'til nine September.
You dressed in black that Sunday morning;
And took my life without a warning.

-- c. j. noel

Crane

You'd need one to lift my spirits.

Thursday

truth hurts.
just leave
me alone,
as I have
been, and
as I shall
remain.

Maybe

Maybe I'm reckless, or simply too bold,
And maybe I'm copper, though surely you're gold;
And why should the common be placed with the rare?
Oh maybe I'm foolish to dream that you'd care!

-- c.j. noel

Empty Pursuits

The banker's millions, the beggar's cent
Oh, all is gone when all is spent
The singer's record, the actor's name
The world will soon forget their fame

The artist's canvas, the writer's books
Collect the dust where no one looks
The runner's swiftness, the archer's eye
They slowly fail as time goes by

-- c.j. noel

A Happy-ish Sequel

One night, by the craziest happenstance
Lil Decimal went to a numbers-dance
And who, do you think, caught his eye?

So lovely she was, and mysterious!
And he was more than a bit curious --
But oh, so incredibly shy!

He asked for her number, and thus her name
(in Numberland both are one and the same),
And waited to hear her reply;

But her name is Pi, and oh don't you see --
Forever together they'll always be!
Let me help you understand why:

They'll be stuck at that dance till Judgment Day --
Ten thousand years it will take her to say
Her name -- all the digits of Pi!

She gave him her digits in decimal:
Irrational...infinitesimal.
A zillion digits -- oh my.

-- c.j. noel (for Kirsten)

A Sad Story

There once was a decimal
So infinitesimal
He always got rounded to nil;

From a cliff very steep
He took a big leap
Then realized 'twas only a hill.

-- c.j. noel, written for Kirsten for no reason in particular..